LOST DOG:

Golden Retriever.
Last seen by outdoor pistol range.

                        The Desk Sergeant
 

The more we
sweat in training,
the less we bleed
on the streets.
          P.O. Richardson, NYPD

Sad Note:
Five police officers died
yesterday during a freak
boat accident. Tragically,
another five died during
the re-enactment.

Announcement:
All Polish police officers will
not be given coffee breaks
effective immediately.
Police brass says it's
costing the department
too much time and effort
to keep retraining them.

Re: The Death Penalty.

Is the death penalty really
a deterrent to crime?
It sure the hell is for
one person.

Police
Test Question

If someone with multiple
personalities threatens to
kill himself, is it considered
a hostage situation?

114th PRECINCT
Maintenance Report.

2 toilets were stolen from
2nd floor men's room. Please
notify the desk sergeant if you
have any leads as we have
nothing to go on.

Incident Report.

A small hole was just
discovered in the woman's
locker room. Police are
looking into it. This was
reported in a complaint by
Officer Sally Griffith.

NOW HIRING
Detectives Wanted

The LAPD has just fired all
it's gay detectives. It has
been reported they have
been blowing all their
cases. No further details.

            Los Angeles Times

THE VICE SQUAD
Incident Report

On our last raid of the
illegal massage parlor on
Elliot Avenue there was
a sign posted on the
front door which read...
"Beat it, we're closed."

NOTICE:

We are sorry to report
that the beatings will
continue until moral
improves.
                          The P.B.A.

Police Definition:

word... CHAOS.

Chief Hasn't Arrived
On Scene.

Missing Persons
Report

Should pictures of
missing husbands be
put on beer cans?

Have a good idea
or post for the
Bulletin Board?

Email:
michael@thepolicedaily.com