A newly retired cop was walking down the street, on his way to a retired
cops breakfast, when he was accosted by a particularly dirty and
shabby-looking homeless man who asked him for a couple of dollars for a
meal. The retired cop took out his wallet, extracted a twenty dollar
bill and asked the guy, "If I give you this money, will you buy some
beer with it instead of food?" "No, I had to stop drinking many years
ago when I was a cop," the homeless man replied. "You were once a cop?"
"Yes," the homeless man replied. "On the force for 12 years, until I
was fired for drinking on duty and I lost my retirement after wrecking a
patrol car the same day." “Will you use this $20 to only buy donuts and
coffee instead of buying nutritious food?" "No, I don't waste time with
sugary foods," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time
trying to stay alive and eat as well as I can." "Will you spend this $20
on greens fees at a golf course instead of good food?" "Are you nuts?"
replied the homeless man. "I haven't played golf in 20 years since I
was fired from the force." "Will you spend the money on a woman over in
the red light Tenderloin District instead of buying good food?" "What
disease would I get for a lousy twenty bucks? I hate whores." exclaimed
the homeless man. "Well," said the retired cop, "I'm not going to give
you the money now. Instead, I'm going to take you to a terrific cops
breakfast around the corner and get you to tell the retired cops your
story, then you get the money." The homeless man was astounded. "Won't
these officers be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty and
I probably smell pretty disgusting, man." The retired cop replied,
"That's okay. It's important for them all to see what a cop looks like
after he has given up beer, donuts, golf and sex."
Destroying the evidence.
This time I'll let you off with just a warning.
Next time , if you take any more plastic bags, I'm running you in.
